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Search Results 0 to 26 of about 27 (some duplicates have been removed)
with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get marr
show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to the dail show. my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, dr. cameron diaz. that will make sense later on in the program. you will see. she has graciously agreed to perform a surgical procedure on... [laughter] on tonight's program. a quick word before we get going to the tourist community, to the visitors to this great land of ours. if you've been here eight months, you live here. you live here. you're not from venezuela. [cheering and applause] donde esta you're mine. seven years of spanish, all i remember. [laughter] donde esta. let's begin tonight perhaps in america, the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with let's say cinnabuns. [laughter] and yet we are nation besieged with problems, problems we must solve. problem number one, our gooey, rat-infested cinnabun-paved streets. why did we do that? that was a dopey material to pave our streets with. [laughter] we're going to need common-sense solutions to our problems if we're not just
and gentlemen, all right. also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah! i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal in
central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. oh, we got a big one tonight. our guest tonight, mr. tom hanks. he is man so likable, so polite that his name actually contains the word "thanks." [laughter] it's right in it. we begin tonight with the economy, which, as many of you are aware, sucks. [laughter] right now we're looking to pay down $14.3 trillion of debt. [audience reacts] [laughter] apparently i'm reading a scary story to my children. they're going to do all the noises like it's "peter and the [bleeped] wolf or something." we're going to pay down $14. trillion of debt with a economy struggling to produce jobs, in large part because american workers still stubbornly cling to the idea that they should be more highly compensated than say suicidal chinese computer part factory help. [laughter] if it's good enough of these despondent people, well, not to worry, people. >> i just want to say a
. you heard from the white house. here is comedian jon stewart giving his response to the duelling speeches from the president and house speaker john boehner over the debt stalemate. >> i think your financial austerity path message may be slightly undercut by the begolden shared red carpet path you walk down to tell us about it. isn't there any way to to do the tighten the belt speech from a room that doesn't look like the foyer of the vatican. if willy wonka had to address the chocolate shortage, might not do it from the water fall room. >> the bigger the government, the smaller the people. >> bigger government, smaller the people. that means the smaller the government, the bigger the people. which means if we get rid of government we'll have giant people! >> time for your political ticker with tim farley host of "mourning briefing." glad we had jon stewart to make it funny for us because it's no laughing matter. less than a week away from the debt ceiling deadline. tim, the news is that the house has delayed the vote. speaker boehner said two nights ago he was going to have a pla
. [laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the assault rifles we sold mexican cartels didn't work, how do we find out where the guns are? what is plan "b"? >> the only way you're going to find those guns in mexico is where? >> at crime scenes in which either the bad guy was killed and his gun was left at the scene or used during the commission of a crime in which the gun was left behind. >> jon: okay. [laughter] so our plan to prevent american guns from being used in mexican gang violence is to provide mexican gangs american guns. [laughter] to use according to our plan. [laughter] how exactly did we convince the mexican government to cooperate in this, let's call it "a plan." >
, i want to show you guys this jon stewart moment that i looked at this morning on the internet because i thought it was interesting, and we'll get chris hahn's reaction to this, first, and it goes to the point we're talking about. >> so i'm asking you all to make your voice heard. if you want a balanced approach to reducing the deficit, let your member of congress know. if you believe we can solve this problem through compromise, send that message. [laughter] [applause] >> call your congressman? did the president just quit? [laughter] i mean, seriously, you're the president. you're asking us to call congress? [laughter] martha: yeah, i mean, often, you know, this is where things bubble up, you know? "saturday night live" and be stewart, but the underlying thought is the president has abdicated himself from this process. that is clearly the suggestion all over jon stewart's face. >> you know, the one night i don't stay up until 11:30 to watch jon stewart, it comes up on this show. martha: we just wanted to provide you with what you missed. >> are i appreciate that, martha. but i
're making a mistake. >> before we go, we'd like to share jon stewart's moment of zen from yesterday. take a listen. >> here it is, your moment of zen. >> stick around, we've got a lot more for you on "the five" right after this. ♪ ♪ >> are you trying to raise the debt ceiling? >> we appreciate it. let's give me one back. >> ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ it's fun to stay at t
on the panel, people depending on celebrities like jon stewart for their news. so it kind of ties in. >> thanks for joining us. have a great 4th of july! >> coming up next the casey anthony murder trial is expected to go to the jury tomorrow. the judge alex ferrerar will give us what jurors will soon face. >>> i'd like to wish a happy 4th of july in north carolina and also tennessee. happy 4th of july! at bayer, we're re-inventing aspirin for pain relief. with new extra-strength bayer advanc aspirin. it has microparticles, enters the bloodstream faster and rushes relief to the site of pain. it's clinically proven to relieve pain ice as fast. new bayer advanced aspirin. the motorola expert from sprint. its powerful tools help you work faster and smarter so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it lets you access business forms on the go, fire off e-mails with the qwerty keypad, and work securely around the world so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it's the android-powered phone that mixes business with pleasure. so let's get our work done, america, so we can all get back to playin
you to explain yourself and try to bring people over. it is not enough to smirk and do the jon stewart thing and said they are so stupid. the people with a minority view have to make the case. usually they will not buy it, but sometimes that well. host: you had a conversation -- you had a conversation with jon stewart? guest: i have met him before. [laughter] >> henderson, nevada. you know where that is? guest: of course. guest: of course. >> you mentioned the u.s. civil libertarians. the department of education, is a relevant institution in today's society? with state budgets controlling education, where do you think civics in high school civics in high school curriculums belong? guest: i have done a couple of documentaries for fox of education recently. i am sort of up on it. i could not to speak your second question. my sense is that civics is being de-emphasized, but i have no data to back that up. english is important, as far as i'm concerned. it not only allows you to engage with the world, past and present, but it makes you a more interesting person, one of the main reasons we a
-- >> [ bleep ] you. >> reporter: remember the good old days when jon stewart was celebrated for using the "d" word to attack the host of a cnn show called crossfire. >> you're as big a [ bleep ] on your show as any other show. >> reporter: turns out mark halperin apologized a couple years ago for saying john edwards thinks obama is kind of a "p" word that means timid. now they've used the "d" word as well, gawker reports halperin has called obama both types of genitalia, look for the "d" spot, disconnect. >> one button, two button, four. >> reporter: jeanne moos, cnn, new york. >> all right. coming up next hour, he could have been france's next president. now word that the sex assault case against dominique strauss-kahn may crumble. we'll talk about his future and whether the u.s. legal system really dropped the ball. 55 minutes after the hour. a vacation on a budget with expedia. make it work. booking a flight by itself is an uh-oh. see if we can "stitch" together a better deal. that's a hint, antoine. ooh! see what anandra did? booking your flight and hotel at the same time gets you prices
! forget i said anything! >> the funny stuff is from jon stewart. the banner the end of the world as we owe it. that's funny. >> i'm fascinated they can have so much fun with this. maybe i've just been doing this too long so think -- i think it's dull for people. these guys make it kind of funny. >> one said federal government
Search Results 0 to 26 of about 27 (some duplicates have been removed)

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